Most of us who find ourselves dating after the age of 50, have probably said to themselves more than once, “How did this happen?” or “How did I get here?” Well, for most of us, life threw us a curve, such as a divorce, or the loss of our loved. Whatever the cause, the feelings are the same. Anger, loss, regret, the unfairness of it all, why me; and so much more. Why do I bring this up? Well before you can move on and have joy in your life, you must deal with and release these feelings, either by seeing a therapist, opening up to friends, self realization, changing how you view life and how you deal with challenges, and other self enhancing methods. If you decide to do nothing, then you will carry those negative feelings with you into your next relationship and for the rest of your life.
If you have done all of the healthy things, mind wise and health wise, to be in a position that you not only like yourself, but you love the person you are, you are at a point that you can share yourself with another wonderful person. As we all know, there are several methods to finding that right person. The best of all worlds is that there is someone in your circle of friends, church, synagogue or mosque that is right for you. Most of us are relegated to Internet dating, utilizing a myriad of paid Internet dating companies. These sites can be exhilarating, ego boosting, and let’s be honest, ego deflating as well. More often than not, prior to finding that special someone, you will feel like you’re in the movie as I have coined it, ‘The Good, The Bad & the Mentally Ugly.’ Emotionally, as a man or woman, you will need to prepare yourself for this. The absolute most important element of healthy dating over 50 is to maintain your own self worth. Don’t let disappointment or rejection damage your belief in yourself. The wisest person I have ever met, namely my daughter, reminded me that dating is like sales or marketing; you will experience a lot of ‘No’s’ before you get a ‘Yes.’
As I mentioned above about the potential of meeting people who fit very well in terms of ‘The Good, The Bad & the Mentally Ugly,’ you will hopefully meet healthy minded wonderful people like yourself. You will also have the potential to meet those that still carry anger from previous relationships, a jaundice outlook on dating, personal traits or beliefs that internally will make you want to yell out ‘Check Please,’ and run to your car as fast as possible. The word ‘Chemistry’ is used far too often. If someone believes that chemistry can always be determined the first time people meet, then they have an immature view of relationships. My favorite things to read in profiles and indeed when I’m on a date that makes me want to roll on the floor with laughter, are those that say ‘Their baggage will fit into an overhead locker,’ or those that claim to do more things per day than any human being could possible do.
I could go on and on, writing about the great things and the possible mind boggling things you might experience in regards to healthy dating over 50, but to make sure I don’t put you to sleep or have my editors beat me senseless for writing way too much for a blog, I will list the key factors of healthy dating over 50.
- Deal with and release all the negative thoughts and feelings from your previous relationships such as anger, loss, regret, the unfairness of it all, etc. This will give you a positive healthy outlook to start your dating and hopefully next loving relationship.
- Love the person you are. If the person in the new relationship makes you feel bad about yourself, run for the hills! Maintain your positive attitude.
- Get yourself off the couch. Exercise, even if it is just a walk around the block. Don’t hibernate in your home. Spend time with friends and relatives. If that’s not possible, volunteer or join a club such as a reading group. On days where nothing seems to fit, go to the movies, or to a favorite restaurant. If you don’t nurture yourself, you may very well set yourself up to be depressed. Snap yourself out of it and live your life!
- An important key to maintaining a healthy attitude is by maintaining a healthy body. Eat well, take your mediation as directed, take appropriate and healthy nutritional supplements, take care of your skin, bath regularly (have been on a couple of dates where the person needed to be hosed down), and get a healthy amount of rest.
In closing, I encourage you to live your life with joy, love, gratitude for your blessings, and kindness. Love the person you are each and every day. Be willing to open your heart and mind to love. Be willing to openly communicate with those people who are special in your life. By doing so, you will most assuredly find the love of your life.